LIFE

So I was talking to my one of my friend recently. The topic was my FB flooded with friends studying oversease/ why they so rich? / I want to study degree in Australia.

Remember 5 years back when Im 17

- i never bother to further study

-do not want to go college

-just want a fix/ reasonable pay job

-never thought of working overseas

-wontspend money on traveling/ backpacking

 December 2011,I finished my SPM test 

-my mom cant wait to get me a job, within a month I've changed 3 job 

-I start to worry about my future when I realise office job/clerk/ secretary/ accountant is not my type of job. WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO ? WHAT CAN I BE? WHAT CAN I DO? WHAT DO I WANT FOR MY FUTURE?

-Same month, my sister ask me if i would want to work as a part timer/ helper in the preschool for 3 months while i wait for my SPM result, A BIG YES ofcourse. I would do anything as long as it doesn't require me to sit down in an office and face the computer for hours.

January - March 2012

- While working as a part timer in the preschool. I've learn alot. Supervisors and Manager are kind enough to teach and lead me. And finally I've decided to study diploma

-Result released on early March, Guess what, those who i expect to get good result, they didn't and he biggest suprise IS i got 6A 1B 1C 1D. AND THATS A BIG SHOUT OUT. I NEVER EXPECT THAT. PEOPLE NEVER EXPECT THAT.

April 2012

- With my result i can choose to study Nursing(due to my parents who discourage me and strongly against that, i gave up)

- I took DECE(Diploma In early Childhood Education) instead. friends might think is weird for me to study such course while me result is good enough to choose something better. I dont know just felt like it, and i think is actually not bad.

December 2014

-After 3 years of working and studying full time , is finally the time for practicum .

-Is a good opportunity to leave the centre that I've been working for years. ive decided to leave my comfort zone and move to another centre to complete my final task(my intern)

TBC....

"I never felt so lost, I don't know how to be an adult, I wish there is a guide book or a menu that I could follow"

Cope

When i broke up with my recent BF , he repeatedly asked me "I don't understand how can you take this so easily ?" When I first heard, im pretty mad. The way he ask is like, Im not sad or feeling a sense of pity/unfortune/too bad.

Since Im repeatedly being asked, I get bored over it and answered :

I don't show my sadness doesn't mean Im not sad.

I don't cry doesn't mean Im happy.

Does it mean i got to grief and cry as if somebody died ?

Does it mean i got to jump down from the building ?

Yet he don't get it after i said that. But it don't bother me much. Since we broke up his happiness/ sadness is not what i should care of. 

From people point of view I might be veryt MEAN and HEARTLESS. But I just want to say everyone cope and take sadness diffrently. How can you tell if Im really happy just by my facial expression ?
Does it really matter and helps if I i show my sadness on my face and tell everyone Im sad ?
I do not want to be a "social network" spread all kind of news to everyone which either make them happy or sad.

How are you handling your sadness now after years and have aged ?

"Everyome take sadness differently, dont judge a person by your interpretation" 

Perception

Today as i scroll down my insta there is this post by "thegoodquote".

So my first thought was "both parents were happy having a child and both have got no problem taking care of him, whereas the child grown up, he got to take care of both old parents and that is not easy, but there he got no choice because that's his responsibility"

That was my honest thought, but as i read the comments by others. I start to ask myself "Am i weird or evil to think that way?"

Later someone commented "did anyone notice the the older kid is taking them to somewhere with barbed wire? "

So, does it mean that older kid is trying to abandone his parents.

First of all i don't see why should i be sad looking at that picture as its a life cycle .
Secondly, i appreciate my parents for what they have taught me and did to me since the day i'm born to this world. Later as they grow older i will take the responsibility to take care of them out of my own will and im ought to do so.
Third, even if that older kid is trying to abandone his parents, is not wrong. He is not born to this world to take care of his old parents. He is not bond to do so.

What do you think after years and look back at this picture? Did you change your thoughts?

"What you think is right to do, might just be the norm. What you decide to do, is up to your heart"

So I guess everyone blog to tell stories, I blog to remind myself MY stories!!!

Name: ME
Age: story begin since 21
Gender: female of course but I rather behave like a male.

Mmmmm.... How should I describe myself?

"You have a uniquely creative personality !
The main things in life for you are your intuition, wisdom, joy, satisfaction and curiosity. The world for you is full of mystery, and is made up of so many different things, situations and people which are all constantly stimulating your imagination. Your life is painted in a multitude of beautiful colours, and you're always looking at it through the prism of creativity. You turn anything that happens to you into something positive, and you never look for simple answers to life's questions. You live your life in constant anticipation of experiencing something new and wonderful."

I think that's what describe me as a person.

What do you think of yourself now? Have you change after years?

"Never look for simple answers to life's questions"